december 2010~

We carry around pain, hurt and betrayal like they are ours; we are their exclusive proud owners. Anything that has happened to us is still happening, except of course that it is not~ When we are letting old experiences still affect our emotions in the current moment we are living in the past.

I am living in the past, all 2010 of it.

This is why I am so happy it is December, almost January. My favorite month of the year is always January. It reminds of the power of rebirth, which is often more powerful than birth itself.

It is such a powerful time of year, when so many of us are conscious and accepting of how change and endings bring way to new beginnings. This energy propels our own egos to let go~
During this time I go back and read my first journal entries in January 2010. They are filled with hope and authentic joy for being given the opportunity to try again.

This was not exactly the year I had intended, but the beauty is that it never is. Heartbreak and betrayal are never on our To Do lists or on our list of resolutions. It is the events we least expect that paralyze us the most when they happen.

Once again I will sit and declutter my mind and space long enough to hear mySelf tell myself the things I’d like and intend on creating this year. Of course anything outside what I want to happen will happen as well. This is such an obvious truth that had escaped me last year. As a result the biggest unexpected and unwanted events of this year paralyzed me.

With this new consciousness I intend on experiencing the troubled times more gracefully, more intact, and more aware of my power. This is a power no event or other person can take away or manipulate, without my permission.

Although I trust and love how life is always unfolding beautifully for us, who or where it takes me will not dictate who I become this year. In 2011 I will have more control over who I Am being.
I will leave you with this beautiful fable~ I hope the magic of the season helps you to let go of that which does not serve you, as it is helping me.

A woman is swimming across a lake. She's holding a rock. As she swims, she tires. The rock is pulling her down. People on the shore urge her to drop the rock. She swims on, tiring as she swims. The people shout louder. She can barely keep her head above the water. "Why won't you drop it?" they shout. As she sinks beneath the surface, she cries out one last time, "Because it's mine!"

If you were not born with it is it not ‘yours’~ it is merely part of your experience, and you have the ability, if you so choose, to drop it...