Sunday, April 14, 2013

Life, Roles, and Motherhood All Lead Me Back to Self~ Evolution Is Circular

I have not blogged since giving birth to my beautiful son on June 22, 2011.

Motherhood is one of those direct experiences that could never be fully described with words.
In short, it is an exhausting selfless role that gives me more fulfillment and perspective than a million lifetimes of enlightenment. It is complete, with the ying and yang. Motherhood teaches attachment with the awareness of detachment. It is the ability to experience it all with the same person to the strongest degree. I am completely devoted to my son unconditionally. I am also aware he will one day leave me to continue his own journey of self-discovery. I am humbled by the experience and complete drained from it.

As he gets older I have more and more energy to put into different projects. Energy my husband is strongly encouraging me to put into practice. He suggests I meditate, write, read, and do hatha yoga.

I mostly want to sleep and eat.

About give years ago I read a book explaining the different goddess archetypes and the authors shared that while they were studying the specific goddesses they felt more inclined towards certain habits.

For example, researching the goddesses Aphrodite made them more prone to sexual relationships.  Hera’s nurturing watchfulness on the other hand had the authors more prone to overeat.

Nurturing is literally giving of yourself, your time, your money, your wisdom, and most importantly your energy.

It is only natural to feel a bit empty after being so nurturing and turn the quickest most superficial way of filling myself, by eating or sleeping.

But like the commonly used quote by Anais Nin says, “I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”

So here I am; back to the drawing board. Taking more time to myself to read and write, and sit… especially sit.  Mostly sit and reflect.

Because as much as I love being a wife and mother these are just roles. 
Small sectors of the Higher Self I came from, and I intend to go back to.

Evolution is a circular spiritual experience where we learn, apply, and re-learn the lessons that are intended for us based on our karma. We are circular like the galaxies and planets. We are connected to all of it, including one another. When I fully experience and understand this, then I will know God. 

Until then, I must practice.

Enjoy you Sunday loves.
            ~ Diosa Dominicana


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